Ministering
With the switch done to ministering a few years ago we were told it's "easier" because we don't HAVE to be in the house and we don't HAVE to share a message. The problem is, is that it's more nebulous now. And that makes it harder to feel like we are really doing something. We have check lists for a reason- so we know things are getting done. Our brains like that. (Well mine does.)
For every lesson RS gets on ministering, the leaders get the same on how to support and encourage it. And just like you, I always leave them with a quizzical eye thinking, So... What am I suppose to do? That was unhelpful.
I've talked to a lot of you in person and phone and text and email. And it always seems to be the same. "Well I'm really bad at ministering." And then you proceed to give me a list of ministering things you have done, never really realizing that you ARE ministering.
So I'm writing this post hoping to give some more insight to the dreaded task of ministering. To make is less dreaded. (With the caveat that this is gospel per me, and not from the handbook.)
1. Ministering is more of an intent, and a state of mind, than a pure action. I'll give you an example. In a RS training meeting our RS Stake President recounted a story of a ward that had a lot of sisters who didn't want any contact. Instead of ignoring them, they made a route that was called a prayer route. The sister who received this route was challenged to pray for these sisters. That was her ministering task. That's it! She went into it knowing that the best effort she could make, and the only effort she could make, was to pray for these sisters. So she did.
Similarly, if you ever happen to look up how to conduct a ministering interview in the handbook (no one does it's okay) there is a video where a man is telling his Elders Quorum president that he doesn't do ministering. So the President gives him a challenge to simply learn the names of his ministering family, and pray for them.
What was awesome was that this video showed that once he had done this for a while, it became natural to do more. He had the Lord's spirit and it encouraged him in the correct way to reach out. Sometimes just a text.
We are all in different places. We can all make different efforts. If you feel out of control right now, then simply learn names, and pray. If you are doing what you can, you are doing enough. If you try to reach out and your sisters never respond, don't be discouraged. Pray for them and know that your efforts are enough.
2. Since it was mentioned, let's talk about ministering interviews. When my presidency call you and ask you about ministering we are not testing YOU. We want to know about how your SISTERS are. The "report" you hear that we make is not whether or not YOU have done ministering, it's whether or not we have talked to you about it. It's really accountability for US to make sure we have checked in on everyone.
With that, interviews are a way for us to make sure everything is working okay. So this is the chance for you to say, hey yeah I got a new job and I can't minister to six sisters anymore (no one ministers to six sisters by the way). Or for you to say, "hey, I minister to so and so and found out that her husband is inactive. Did you know so and so's husband is also inactive? It might be great to connect them some way." (I can use this example because my husband is inactive and this happened to me and turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened.)
We do the best we can when we put together routes to use the spirit and be thoughtful but hey we're human. TELL US THINGS. Feel free to complain! (Respectfully.) If you don't tell us that something isn't working for you, we don't know to change it.
3. Also since it was mentioned, how do we come up with routes? There are a few things we consider. (These are not hard and fast or church assigned ways- it's just what my presidency does.)
A. Location and previous friendships. We do try to take those into account. We know it's easier to minister to someone in your neighborhood. We know it's easier to be in contact with people you are already comfortable with. Especially in this time of COVID.
B. YOUR FEELINGS. I have an interesting situation with an inactive spouse. It can make ministering to my family awkward. So when we made the Selma Ward and started ministering from ground zero I told President Hafen, I need so and so to minister to me. And he said, cool. And I got them.
I have had sisters reach out to me and say, because of this I really feel comfortable with this person. And guess what? That's what they get.
When we put Young Women in a companionship we always make sure they minister to at least one other family with a young woman. Because it's more natural that way.
If there is something, or someone you need, tell us. We will work it in. We want ministering to be as easy and natural as it can be! When it is it becomes a joy. A way to just love our friends and neighbors even more.
It also becomes a boon to us because we are more comfortable reaching out and talking through what we need to talk through, and asking for the help that we need.
C. The Spirit. I know, you probably read all of the above and thought, wait, isn't this suppose to be a spiritual assignment? It is. We always go into ministering changes with a prayer. But it behooves us, and you, to be logical as well. For the sake of spirituality though, let me share a story.
I went out once to visit a sister I didn't know. When I pulled up to her home I realized it was an assisted living facility. Now it was COVID, and I had four constantly snot nosed (as kids are) children in the car. I figured going to visit this sister myself was not a good idea. I thought because of COVID I would put her on a route to have letters written to her. But all the rest of the day I just felt really strongly that she needed a visit from SOMEONE. So I pulled out my directory and started flicking through names and came across one sister. "Hey she doesn't have snot nosed kids at home. She may be perfect."
So I made the change and asked her if this change would be alright. To my surprise she emailed me back. "Oh my goodness I know this sister and I just love her! Yes of course I will keep an eye on her."
The Lord watches out for you guys. He really does.
Now, this "system", does not always work perfectly. Sometimes a new sister moves in and we don't know much about her but we want to make sure she is welcomed so we assign her to someone. That's why we rely on you! If after meeting her you feel she would be better suited to a companionship who has kids, or is in college, or likes to scuba dive, let us know!
Let's be real. Sisters, I don't care HOW you minister. My ministering sister and I basically just text. A lot. And you know what? That's great for me. Because I know she loves me. And I know if I need something she is there for me. And because when I am having a crap day she just lets me vent. She's fantastic.
And often she tells me she feels like she doesn't do anything.
You minister with your companion? Great. You prefer being alone? Great. You like to have in house visits? Great. You like to drop treats? Great. You like to video chat? Great.
All I care about is that every sister in this ward has a friend. Has someone she knows and trusts to reach out too when crap hits the fan. Who she can ask for help from. Who makes her feel loved.
If you are striving to do that in whatever capacity you can, you are ministering. Even if who you are ministering too chooses not to respond to you, you are still there.
Sometimes in our lives we choose not to see and feel the Savior. But whether we do or not He is still there with His arm stretched out. One of the best ways we can be like Him is to do the same.
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